I realize my mistake now, and I really wish I'd realized it before everything that I've done accumulated into such a failure. For this semester, I made the terrible mistake of actually letting so many voices affect the way I approached my work. I thought too hard of what I should be doing, instead of just doing what I wanted to do. Even though I already knew that I was not happy with what I was doing, I kept going anyway; and this lack of confidence in myself resulted in such terrible artwork.
At least I leave this semester with a much needed lesson, and a broader perspective on how this practice works. As long as I do what I think is right for me, instead of doing what I think would satisfy someone else, I will be more successful. I'm going to need the support of my family and friends to be able to hang on to my dwindling confidence (or what's still left of it). For this summer, I'm going to concentrate on me and no one else. I will be my own judge and my own influence. Once I'm able to make this part of me more concrete, then and only then will I allow other voices to penetrate me.
Untitled (multiple still life studies of the self), April 2011
Acrylic and gesso on purchased frames
84 x 76 x 55 inches
Untitled (multiple still life studies of the self) [detail]
Won't you consider the benefits if you whiten your skin?, April 2011
Oil, acrylic, watercolor, frame, and yellow-painted canvas on canvas
48 x 36 inches
Won't you consider the benefits as you whiten your skin? [detail]
Five days of still thoughts studies, May 2011
India ink and watercolor on paper
62 x 125 inches
Scabs, April 2011
Unstuffed animals on found dress
54 x 72 inches
